Shikariix

Hello! It's time for my yearly visit to deviantart <3

I genuinely cannot believe the year is already over. It feels fake. Faker than other years.

I saw DogRates shared the 2021 video and I sat there like WHAT!! I feel like I watched the 2020 one two weeks ago!!!!!

anyway

WOW this year.

I don't think understanding was the best keyword for this year like I'd predicted last year, but I guess it was just a safe bet as it is hard not to get better understanding of yourself and the world as you get older. I'm not sure what a better word would be though. Expansion? Growth?

2021 is the year I graduated! I'm officially done with school, not going back any time soon -

except, because I couldn't find a game development job where I felt at home, I'm now doing a software development traineeship. Oops.

This training is fantastic though, I'm having so much fun programming and I feel like I'm learning so much more than I did in 5 years of college. (I learned different things there, obviously, but in terms of programming, this personal guidance is exactly what I needed to bloom.) There's more jobs in software development, so in a little less than a year I'll probably be set for a full time job! Hurray!

We adopted cats!! These are Momo (black) and Panter (orange). They're brothers and they are menaces, but they are also a fantastic, lively addition to our family. I'm honestly blown away at how much I've grown attached to them over the short time they've been with us. 🥰

I've also gotten much more in touch with my spirituality. This is something that I'm often reluctant in talking about, because I'm scared people will look down on me, but it's become such an important part of my life. I read tarot and oracle cards (we have over 10 decks) and I've gotten to know some of my spirit guides and past lives. I'm blown away by the power of spirit on the daily and so, so grateful for where it's helping to get me. I can't wait to see where it will take me in the coming year.

I feel like I'm in such a different place than I was last year but I don't know if it's fully true. I feel more confident. I greet people on the streets and contact customer services when I have a question. I know those things seem very small, but they're huge for me.

I don't know what I want to ask from 2022. More growth? more confidence? Honestly I want for the pandemic to be over so I take my spouse on dates again. So we can go on our honeymoon.

Maybe I just want comfort. To feel good in my skin, in my job, in my home. Yeah. I like that.

Sending everyone the best energy for 2022! 💕

What a year, huh?

I asked for settlement last year, and I have to say, this might be the first year where I don't feel like that's what I got at all. Sure, we got married, we still live in our comfy little home, but Covid has been such a weight that it feels like things have come to an abrupt stop more than that they have settled. Of course I'm extremely grateful that none of my friends and family have gotten sick! I feel extremely privileged and I genuinely hope all your friends and family are alright as well.

So, for highlights, I have only a few.

I'm not going to gush forever about my wedding, but I'm so happy we were able to hold it. We kept it as small as possible and just enjoyed the insanely hot weather. It's a new chapter in our life! Exciting stuff.

My other biggest highlight is how I've been able to get back into art a little bit. I've been in a slump for so long and I've worried if I would ever be able to love my own art again, but I can! The key is to make art for ME, to enjoy the process, and not think about what the outcome should be. I mean of course I want it to look good, but I spent a lot of time just trying things out in Clip Studio, taking my time to tweak my art until I liked it, and it paid off!

And this is the energy I also bring into my game development. Just make things to make something and if it doesn't look perfect, that's okay! Most games have beta art anyway, so that's what I'm making! Beta games! That is a lot of exclamation points but I'm genuinely happy I have found ways for myself to enjoy things instead of overthinking everything.

My last highlight is that I've made major personal growth and steps towards understanding myself and how I'm wired. I struggle with myself a lot, but these steps help me in guiding my own actions, and I hope it will make me a better, more confident person.

Honorable mentions: I learned how to cut my own hair and I dyed it, and I've gotten so much energy out of the Pitch Perfect and Bechloe fandom, despite only jumping in at the end of the year. It's worth a mention!

A few days ago I knew exactly what I wanted to manifest in 2021 but I didn't write it down and I completely forgot, so I'm going to have to freewheel (as usual).

Actually I just walked to the kitchen because I'm cooking some pasta and I think the word for 2021, for me, is understanding. I want to slow down and understand what is happening around me better, now that I'm starting to understand myself. I want to keep spreading warm and caring energy into the new year. Let's carry each other through another one.

Happy new year!

HELLO I am here to continue my tradition, even if it's a few days late! It's a very hectic time of the year in many ways, but I haven't forgotten about this so here I am!

I asked for growth, but I feel like this year has become more of a dive into who I am as a person. I suppose that has helped me grow in a sense. I've become more confident in expressing what I love and stand for, but I realize I still have much to learn. I think clarity is a better word to describe how I feel about 2019. And now that I have a clear sight on what I have, I can ease into that growth and change - hopefully :P

It's sad that for the past few years, I can't quite say that I feel happy and at ease just yet. There are things rumbling, and if I can believe astrology (which I've been getting into more lately) it's going to reach a climax this year. I'm scared, but I feel like whatever is coming, it's something we can handle. And it's going to help us heal and become better people.

Alright, I'll share some highlights after all! Looking at the old journals, that is one of my favorite parts.

First and foremost, it is so soothing to feel at ease in our home. We moved here in 2018, and to pass our moving date in 2019 without feeling like we have to move as soon as possible to feel better is so refreshing. We have a home and we feel at home! A small victory, but important nonetheless.

I'm in my last year of my game development study! And I started a project with someone that is supposed to help kids understand the feeling of being queer. This is what I mean when I say I am more open about what I stand for. I would've never done this in the first year because I felt silly that this is what I am passionate about, but now I wholeheartedly jump into queer projects and hope to make the world just a little bit better some day!

I had therapy for my social anxiety and can actually tell that I am doing better. I still fall into my old pattern a lot, but I can actually make phone calls without wanting to sink into the floor. Sadly I am still very insecure, but that is something I can tackle this year.

I saw Marianas Trench again!!! I was supposed to go with Chiara14 but she got sick so I went with a good friend instead. We strengthened our bond and I overall had a great time. Josh came down from the stage to sing in the crowd and I think he might've seen that I was wearing the shirt from the previous concert because he stopped around where I was standing and danced near me for what felt like half the song ;w; I still can't believe I got so close to him! I don't really freak out about celebrities but this is my favorite band!! It felt super special and I, once again, can't wait for them to get back again.

The last part of my year was very focused on spirituality and tapping into my intuition. I got a deck of tarot cards and am learning to read them! I think this is also going to be a big part of 2020. Maybe at some point I will do readings online, but for now I do them for myself and friends who drop by.

2020 is going to be tough. I'm going to have to give it my all, despite feeling weakened from the hardships from the past few years. Last year I said maybe 2020 would be a year of completion - mainly because I want to finish my studies and get married lol. The past few weeks I thought about what I wanted, had a great word in mind, and now I'm drawing a blank :"D I think, for now, I'm going for settlement. Since things have been stirred up, all they can do is gently come down. Our marriage is going to be the final earthly step into bonding. I'm going to settle into a job, hopefully. Maybe work is also a good theme, since I have to work on myself but also actually work in the games industry? I don't know. I'm not quite feeling clear on it right now, but if I get a better idea, I can always come back to this journal.

Either way I wish you all the best in 2020! Work & fight hard, and be the best you that you can be <3